I’m 18. Last year I proposed to a girl and she accepted it. At that time she was very interested in me but nowadays she doesn’t care much. I’ve been having doubts that she’s someone else. What should I do? Should I ask her about it? Please help me.
- Shreeshan Lama
Adolescence, late teens to early twenties, is a phase where things are constantly changing – our belief systems, our values, and our likes and dislikes. It’s a phase in life where we figure things about ourselves. We are thus bound to be confused about love and relationships. It’s very difficult for teenage couples because most often they grow and evolve in different ways. In a few years, you yourself may realize that you don’t share anything in common with your girlfriend anymore. If you decide to ask her if she’s no longer interested in the relationship or if she’s seeing someone else, remember that it’s all but natural and thus respect what she’s going through.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly three years now but I think he’s losing interest in me. I love him too much to leave him. What do I do without him?
I hear you. This isn’t easy. It really sucks because either way it hurts – to be in a relationship where your partner has lost interest in you or to let go of a long meaningful relationship. Having said that, you should consider the possibility that he may have gotten so comfortable and secure being with you that he’s no longer feels the need to constantly reinforce or display his interest in you. Girls often misunderstand guys’ sense of security in a relationship. Guys never understand girls’ need to be reassured. But if that’s not the case and your relationship is on the verge of ending, remember that you have three beautiful years to look back and cherish, and another loving and meaningful relationship is waiting at the next turn.
I have a crush on this guy and we flirt around. But one of my friends has had a crush on him since we all joined college. Though he’s already told her that he’s not interested in her, she’s still hopeful. I don’t want to lose a good friend by going out with my crush. Please help
Hmm… This is a very sticky situation. But if you were to fast forward your life ten years from now, a couple things could be happening. You might barely be in touch with your good friend, you might still be with this guy and your friendship will also still be strong, or you may be with some other guy and have some other great friends in life. Nobody is indispensable, and your life will move on. What’s the point of taking life so seriously when nothing is certain and possibilities are limitless. Standing by your friends, or starting a meaningful relationship, whatever makes you happy today, is the way to go.
Every time I sit to study, I end up cleaning my room or stare at the tubelight or do something ridiculous and kill time. How can I focus more? I am 23 and a bachelor and I’m old enough to realize it but I haven’t just yet.
It’s possible that you’re simply not interested in the subjects you’ve chosen, or you could be suffering from the problem of procrastination. Procrastination, I’ve learnt, has to do with anxiety resulting from perfectionism deeply rooted in self-doubt and a sense of insecurity. If you grew up having your parents or teachers comparing you with someone “better” than you all the time, or put excessive amount of expectations, you could’ve developed a fear of failing to meet those excessively high standards. Self-reflection and self-realization could be an effective tool in going back to the past and acknowledging the reasons behind your anxiety. Along with the process of self-healing is the practice of self-motivation and discipline.
Swastika Shrestha is the founder of Anuvuti – a social enterprise that engages young people in service-learning. She’s has been coaching and mentoring young people in different capacities for over a decade